Sixty Days: Making Writing a Habit

To be entirely honest, I probably wouldn't have realized the milestone if it wasn't for a student's inquiry this week.

"Ms. Guerrette, how's YOUR writing coming along?" was the question he quietly asked me during an unusual moment of calm in our writing workshop. 

"Oh, I'm still writing," I answered, my mind jogging for where this out-of-the-blue question had come from. "Thanks for asking!" I was reminded, yet again, that they are always watching. 

Then came his explanation. "I was just wondering. You must be behind on marking your chart."

The chart in reference is the Don't Break the Chain calendar that hangs on the bulletin board near my desk with other "about me" items: my mission statement, quotes I try to live by, a picture of story time with my nephews. And he was absolutely right. Somewhere back in the middle of January, I had fallen behind on crossing off my writing days.

But I had not fallen out of writing. 
And that...that was what I celebrated as this week drew to a close. I successfully maintained my commitment to writing for 30 minutes daily through a second month. Writing daily is becoming a habit.

At the end of December, I celebrated my success with this goal. It was my longest string of uninterrupted time. More important than the uninterrupted string though, I had succeeded in carving out time to write regularly. My previous efforts had started well, but been derailed by variations on the litany of excuse making for why I couldn't fit writing into my world.

At the end of December, I had some decisions to make about my goal. I had uncovered an idea that was nagging at me, it needed more of my attention to develop. But I was also afraid that my very new success of writing daily would take a hit if I restricted my writing to only this one "project." I need my writing time to be flexible enough that I can go where I need to when I sit down with my notebook and pen.

So, I kept the same overarching goal for January. I wanted to continue my commitment to find 30 minutes to write daily. And I threw in a few other measures, too. Instead of limiting the focus of my writing, I listed four specific writing "tasks" I wanted to complete in the month of January. These would be my measures of success: maintaining my daily commitment and accomplishing these smaller writing goals within the time frame of January.

I did it. Mostly.

One of my four writing tasks was to resume my Monday posts as part of the It's Monday, What Are You Reading? meme. I posted most Mondays in January, but this past Monday, I skipped. It weighed on me all week. And it means I didn't *exactly* accomplish my goal. But, that's awfully darn close. In addition to the writing tasks I had outlined, I began a blog series about our whole-school community reading project (OES Reads), posting almost weekly with updates. My blog saw more posts in January 2015 than any other month since I started blogging.

Being able to say I met my goal feels good, but I've been thinking about more than just accomplishing the goal. Reflection has a way of seeping into everything.

Writing has become something I do. I'm still afraid to say I've built my writing habit, because there are days when it takes everything I have to keep the commitment. Some nights I feel like my writing is more legitimate than others--better subject, more coherence, less "work"--but regardless of my judgement about the quality of my writing, I'm writing daily. The routine I'm establishing matters.

I value my 30 minutes. I appreciate that small chunk of time when I power down, put the phone in "do not disturb" mode, set my timer, and empty my thinking onto the pages of my notebook. Most days it is the most peaceful, attentive time I spend. 

Ideas abound. More than I can attend to. Phrases or whole ideas jump out at me, and I have a knowing feeling when loose ideas need to be tethered and captured in my notebook. Then I can play with them, get to know them, and find out the substance of these ideas.

Many ideas are asking to share my time. Daily, there are new things to scribble about in free writes, and yet many potential pieces or posts wait inside the pages of past free writes. I need to balance free-writing and discovery with time for revision and polishing.


In February, I will continue my goal to write for 30 minutes daily. In the next day or two, I'll make a "wish list" of writing tasks I want to accomplish in February, mindful that I want to balance new writing with mining pieces from the last sixty days of writing.

And I'll try to do a better job remembering to mark my progress on the calendar. For my students' sake.

Thirty Days of Writing: Looking Back

My December "Don't Break the Chain" Calendar

Today makes 30 days. December 1 to December 30.
I wrote for 30 minutes on every one of those 30 days.
My longest string yet.

So, on this last day of #writedaily30, I'm looking back.

Calling today "the last day" has me a little on edge. See, I can't really look at today as a "last" day. I've been successful with this challenge, but I can't afford to chance breaking the chain. I can't treat today's celebration of my accomplishment as a finale or lean on 30 days of success as a reason I don't need to write tomorrow.

The truth is, I do.

I do need to write tomorrow. And the day after. And the 363+ days that come afterward. 
I do need a place to reflect and express and play and create and explore.

I don't always need the same thing of my writing time, but I do always need my time to write.

My December #writedaily30 goal was essentially to show up. To make a commitment to keep my pen moving on paper for 30 minutes every day. No specific topic, no intended audience, no pressure to publish. Just "me" time with my notebook to see what would come.

Writing is generative.

Flitting among the pages of two (Yes, not one, but two!) notebooks, there are recurring themes and ideas I have circled back to. There are pages that house classroom vignettes or specific memories I'll be glad to hold on to. And there are occasional rants or outpourings of questions--followed by more questions--that may never have real answers. But that's ok.

All of it is, actually. Because it's evidence of how my thinking and my life as a writer are evolving. Together.

Last night I set a timer for five additional minutes after my 30 had passed. I wanted those five-more-minutes to respond to Linda Urban's prompt: What have you learned about yourself? What have you learned about goals and daily writing and commitment?

Reflective notes flowed freely from my pen. I was astonishing by the ease in which I was listing! Could it be that while my attention was turned to keeping a 30-day writing commitment and establishing a habit, I was glazing over some bigger realizations? Like these:

• Ideas come to me. All. The. Time. An offshoot of writing daily means that consciously or subconsciously, I anticipate the chance to write. My daily goings on include observing, generating, and storing ideas for writing time, whether intentional or not.

• My notebook is an extension of myself. Along with my wristlet and phone, my notebook is the third thing that travels with me almost everywhere. And I depend on my notebook to catch my randomness--inspirations or otherwise.

• Sometimes the pressure of posting publicly stifles me as a writer. I get caught up in doing it right. Giving myself permission to "take a break" from blogging was hard, but a necessary reprieve to let me get back to reflecting on and banking ideas. And I've come away with at least a dozen smaller writing pieces that I can return to. That said...

• I need to up the ante on myself. Free writing with no pressure has been what I needed this month, but now I need to attend to a nagging idea that is begging for more of my attention. It's time to find a balance between continuing to generate writing and making project-specific progress.

• As solitary and personal as writing is, keeping the company of other writers is motivating to me. Beyond the gentle nudge of accountability, the #writedaily30 community is special, generously encouraging one another with positive responses to expressions of relief or frustration.

So...
Today I'm celebrating my success. 
I kept a commitment for 30 days and wrote 30 minutes on each of those days.
And I came away with lots of possible blog posts, a project to pursue, and a whole lot to think through about what it means to be a writer and a teacher of writing.

I'm pretty sure I still need to write tomorrow.

A Letter to My Blog

Dear Neglected Blog,

I'm sorry. I realize I've done a really poor job of keeping you refreshed and up-to-date with my reading diet, happy celebrations, and otherwise random musings of classroom life and professional endeavors. I feel really guilty that I have not shared the highlights of #NCTE14 or amazing connections my students have had with books and authors. I know it likely seems I have been swallowed whole by a book I have yet to review, and that is somewhat disheartening to you. It is to me, too.

So, let me begin by reassuring you: I am still the same "me." I'm still doing important work helping kids find who they are and assume their place of responsibility in a crazy world every day. I'm still a nerdy book lover, devouring middle grade novels in a single sitting (when I can). I'm still thinking-incessantly-about what is going right in my professional world and what needs to change. And, I'm still writing, I promise. In fact, I'm writing more now than ever before.

So then, you ask, what's the deal?
Why no new posts since mid-November?
Why the skipped weeks of #IMWAYR?

*sigh*

For the most part, it's because I'm writing. 
A lot. 
All the time. 
In my notebook.
To reach this point, I've had to give myself permission to relax about posting to you, sad Blog. I've had to allow myself the freedom to write to explore my ideas without the expectation of publishing for an audience, without the pressure of finding words that are pretty, or perfect, or provocative enough to interest readers. And you know-just between you and I-doing so has actually give me PAGES of what feel like possibilities. Possibilities for researching and revisiting and revising... Things that might grow into blog posts I can share later, that will help you appear "impressive."

Dear Blog, I hear your cry of concern that time is passing me by, and I'm not saying enough or showing everyone else who I am. I share your concern a little, too. But right now, this free, personal writing feels good, feels promising. So I'm going to trust in it...for a little while longer.

I want people to look at you...I do. I hope you can one day do even more to introduce me to people and connect me to great professionals with whom I can stretch my thinking. For now though, I beg you, be patient with me and my process. Support me in taking the quiet road. I have some things I need to think about. Explore. Tussle out. 
For a few more weeks, at least.

I will be back. Don't give up on me. 
I'm just finding my way.

Your wandering (but no less committed) writer,
Melissa